I woke up the other night
Lying on the floor
Right beside the someone
I've never seen before
She said "My name's Juliet
And Romeo you ain't"
That's another good reason not to drink
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason not to drink
I can't go see my best friend
He said "Stay away"
Just because of what I said
On his wedding day
"He oughta call her Sherman
Cause she looks just like a tank"
That's another good reason not to drink
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason not to drink
I'm gonna sue to city
About that policeman
Last night as I left the bar
He stepped right on my hand
He said "Are you drunk or blind?"
I said "Let me think"
That's another good reason not to drink
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason not to drink
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason
Baby let me in, I'm freezing
Another good reason not to drink