Hey, you were standing
By the screen door slamming
Rather clear what's taking place
You were holding on to Louie
He was packing, he was heavy
That plastic handle just about to break
Well then you picked up Chloe
She knew you all were going
She started barking like a tank
I was shocked and I was joking
But I would not be longing
Cause I got Jim and Jack and Hank
Take your string bikinis
Your apple martinis
Take what's left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water
And that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes
All that stuff for ladies
To me you're just a total blank
Go on and leave me baby
I don't need you, I got
Jim and Jack and Hank
Well now you left screaming
And your tires screeching
That little dog right in your lap
I have become a little sad
And I called up my old dad
He said son you just woke me from my nap
I told him you had left me
He said, son now don't you hate me
You know exactly what I think
You know you're better off
You can fish and you can golf
You still got Jim and Jack and Hank
Take your string bikinis
Your apple martinis
Take what's left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water
And that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes
All that stuff for ladies
To me you're just a total blank
Go on and leave me baby
I don't need you, I got
Jim and Jack and Hank
That's right
So I got out the whiskey
I began to listen
To songs out in my truck you couldn't crank
I started feeling empty
Then again it hit me
I got Jim and Jack and Hank
Take your string bikinis
Your apple martinis
Take what's left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water
And that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes
All that stuff for ladies
To me you're just a total blank
Go on and leave me baby
I don't need you, I got
Jim and Jack and Hank
Yeah now go on and leave me baby
I don't need you
I got Jim and Jack and Hank
That's right
You go ahead
I'll be a okay
Cause I got Jose
Captain Morgan
Not to mention Old George and Tammy
Loretta, Merell, Willie Nelson
Big John Cash
How about Old Jimmy Buffet
Bring him in there
When it's sun shining
George Strait an old friend
Can't forget Hank Junior
And all his rowdy friends
I'm gonna clean out the whole closet, baby
All yeah
Goodbye