Breakfast, black coffee, one slice of dry toast
No butter, no jelly, no jam
Lunch, just some lettuce, two celery stalks
No booze, no potatoes, no ham
Dinner, one chicken wing, broiled not fried
No gravy, no biscuits, no pie
And this dieting, dieting, dieting, dieting
Sure is a rough way to die
So pass me a carrot stick
Peel me a prune
A glass of skim milk and that's all
Turn off the TV
The Big Mac commercial
It's driving me right up the wall
And I'm thinking of french fries
Sausage and waffles
Spaghetti and cookies and cake
And each night I'm dreaming
Of chocolate ice cream
And I'm starving to death when I wake
Supper, two pieces of cauliflower, raw
Some beefsteak the size of a nail
One sliced tomato, a small dab of slaw
I swear I ate better in jail
Stop eating that pizza right under my nose
Girl that's the least you can do
Put down that candy bar while I'm singing
I'm starving my pants off for you
You're fixing the kids
All those creamed mashed potatoes
But it's bouillon and water for me
Hey, you got a lock on the refrigerator
Lord knows where you're hiding the key
While I'm starving for food late at night
I'm starving for loving from you
But you say that when I can see my own dick
You'll be glad to look at it too
So pass me a carrot stick
Peel me a prune
A glass of skim milk and that's all
You and Jane Fonda
And old Richard Simmons
Are driving me right off the wall
Now when I am dead
With the insurance paid
You'll look down at me and you'll grin
You'll say, well the boy tried
And he suffered and died
But don't he look good when he's thin
Oh my
This dieting, dieting, dieting, dieting
Sure is a rough way to die