Well, friends you know once I was took in
By a girl with a twinkly eye
But the first time that I wasn't looking
She ran off with a handsomer guy, oh my
But I'm an inventing type feller
So as soon as my brain got uncurled
I tiptoed right down to my cellar
And built a mechanical girl
Oh, her arms are iron
Her legs are steel
Her hips are on wires
Attached to a wheel
And her spine is a coil
That I now and then oil
She's my ever loving machine
She's always right there when I need her
And she's very easy to please
And hardly cost nothing to feed her
Just some water and oil and grease
She never complains when I stay out all night
She never complains that I ain't rich
And each time I want her
Just to cuddle me up tight
I just reach out and turn on her switch
Oh, her arms are iron
Her legs are steel
Her hips are on wires
Attached to a wheel
And her spine is a coil
That I now and then oil
She's my ever loving machine
She has no trouble making her mind up
Cause friends I did not give her a mind
And her heart is a clock that I wind up
So I know that she'll love me in time
She always did what she was supposed to
Right up to this evening but then
She had an affair with a toaster
And they ran off and left me again
Oh, her arms were iron
Her legs were steel
Her hips were on wires
Attached to a wheel
And her spine was a coil
That I used to oil
She was my ever loving machine