The hulk of a man with a beer in his hand
He looked like a drunk old fool
And I knew if I hit him right
Why, I could knock him off of that stool
But everybody they said watch out
Hey, that's the Tiger Man McCool
He's had the whole lotta fights
And he's always come out winner
Yeah, he's a winner
But I had myself about five too many
And I walked up tall and proud
I faced his back and I faced the fact
That he had never stooped or bowed
I said, Tiger Man you're a pussycat
And a hush fell on the crowd
I said, let's you and me
Go outside and see
Who's the winner
Well, he gripped the bar with one big hairy hand
Then he braced against the wall
He slowly looked up from his beer
And my God that man was tall
He said, boy, I see you're a scrapper
So just before you fall
I'm gonna tell you just a little
About what it means to be a winner
He said now you see these bright
White smiling teeth
You know they ain't my own
Mine rolled away like Chicklets
Down the street in San Antone
But I left that person cursing
Nursing seven broken bones
And he only broke ah three of mine
That makes me the winner
He said, now behind this grin
I got a steel pin
That holds my jaw in place
A trophy of my most successful
Motorcycle race
And each morning when I wake and touch
This scar across my face
It reminds me of all I got
By being a winner
Now this broken back
Was the dying act
Of a handsome Harry Clay
That sticky Cincinnati night
I stole his wife away
But that woman she gets uglier
And she gets meaner every day
But I got her, boy
That's what makes me a winner
He said, you gotta speak loud
When you challenge me son
Cause it's hard for me to hear
With this twisted neck
And these migraine pains
And this big ole cauliflower ear
And if it wasn't for this glass eye of mine
Why, I'd shed a happy tear
To think of all that you gonna get
By being a winner
I got arthritic elbows, boy
I got dislocated knees
From picking fights with thunderstorms
And charging into trees
And my nose been broke so often
I might lose if I sneeze
And son, you say you still wanna be a winner?
Now you remind me a lotta my younger days
With your knuckles a clenching white
But boy I'm gonna sit right here
And sip this beer all night
And if there's something
That you gotta gain to prove
By winning some silly fight
Well okay, I quit, I lose
You're the winner
So I stumbled from that barroom
Not so tall and not so proud
And behind me I still hear the hoots
Of laughter of the crowd
But my eyes still see
And my nose still works
And my teeth're still in my mouth
And you know
I guess that makes me the winner