Now friends you'd never guess it
So I really must confess it
I just met the sweetest woman
Of my long dismal life
But a friend of mine said buddy
Just in case your mind is muddy
Don't you know that girl you're fooling with
Is Peg-Leg Johnson's wife
And that man is hard and cold
And mean and grim
And he'll catch you and he'll brain you
With his artificial limb
But next morning bright and early
I stole old Peg-Leg's girlie
And I also took his wooden leg
Just to play it safe
But there weren't no time for laughter
Cause he started hopping after
And I keep on running faster
But he won't give up the chase
And I'm running through the mountains
With his bride
And I got his wooden leg here
By my side
I'm a three-legged man
With a two-legged woman
Being chased across country
By a one-legged fool
Though he's hopping and he's clapping
And he shows no sign of stopping
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel
Through the deserts and the valleys
And those dark Chicago alleys
Cross the muddy Mississippi
To the hills of Caroline
Through the mountains of Montana
And the swamps of Louisiana
Each time that I look back
He's just about one foot behind
And I know he must be cold
And wet and sick
But in spite of all his troubles
He can kick
Oh, he's ragged and he's filthy
And I'm feeling kinda guilty
Specially in the evenings
When I hear him plead and beg
He says in spite of all your stealing
Friend I bear you no hard feelings
You can keep that damned old woman
But please give me back my leg
Cause old friend I know you think
You took my wooden leg
But in the dark you made a mistake
You took my good leg
I'm a three-legged man
With a two-legged woman
Being chased across country
By a one-legged fool
Though he's hopping and he's clapping
And he shows no sign of stopping
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel