Can't tell you how to win friends
And influence people
You can leave that to me
That philosophy
But I know the score
About getting married
That's the best way I know
To make an enemy
We broke up a beautiful friendship
When we married
These cat and dog fights get
The best of me
We broke up a beautiful friendship
When we married
Now we're each other's own worse enemy
Oh, Steve
And Buddy
We call a truce
And then we kiss and makeup
But then you say
That I'm not kissing right
When I pass the salt
It should've been the pepper
Just anything will start
Another fight
We broke up a beautiful friendship
When we married
These cat and dog fights get
The best of me
We broke up a beautiful friendship
When we married
Now we're each other's own worse enemy
Now we're each other's own worse enemy