Now I was down upon my luck
And the jobs were hard to find
I was sort of short on cash
And my bills were way behind
So I went to see my life long friend
An old man now by trade
I figured it's how he had help me out
With his fortune he had made
I said, "Old pal, I need your help
And I hate to be so bold
But remember when I saved your life
Down at the swimming hole?
Now I'd like to ask a favor
If you can see your way
I'd like to have a little loan"
And then I heard him say
"Excuse me, total stranger
I can't seem to recall
Now are you really certain
That we've ever met at all?
I'd really like to help you out"
As he opened wide the door
"So long, total stranger
That I've never seen before"
Now once I had a girlfriend
Who really caught my eye
And when my wife was out of town
I'd court her on the sly
We'd taken all the night spots
And honky tonk around
And joining all the parties
And really paint the town
But then one night
My wife came home
She must have smelled a rat
She looked around
From place to place
And found where I was at
Well, there we were all cuddled up
I knew that I was dead
But before my wife could say a word
I jumped right up and said
"She's just a total stranger
Who came in off the street
The place is kinda crowded
So I offered her a seat
Now I couldn't leave this lady
Just a standing on the floor
She's just a total stranger
That I've never seen before"
Now my friend said, "Let's go hunting
I've got the gun and shells
And the birds are really flying
And I think we'll do quite well"
Well, he shot a half a dozen
Then said, "I supposed
I really ought to tell you
That the hunting season's closed"
About that time he heard a noise
And stepped behind a tree
He took the gun
Birds and shells
And gave them all to me
Up stepped the old game warden
And found me standing there
And then to my complete surprise
I heard my friend declare
"He's just a total stranger
And I was passing by
I saw this total stranger
Shoot those birds out of the sky
It's a shame the way some people
These laws they do ignore
Like this total stranger
That I've never seen before"