Howdy
My name's Soddy
Soddy Hoe
And you know I heard all my life
That if you wanna be on a record
You gotta write songs about
That touch people
And I would like to try to touch you
With a song I wrote called
The Testimony of Soddy Hoe
Also known as Ain't Nobody Never Told Me Nothing
It goes like this
One day my truck ran out of gas on route one
And I was thumbing into town
Gone get me some
When these three dudes in this big black car
Pull over to the side
They said, "Hey boy
Come on over here and let's talk"
Said now, "Look, if you going to town
That's an awful long walk
But if you don't mind driving
I'm a little tirеd, I'll give you a ride"
I said, "Fine"
Hе said, "Well if you've got a driving license
What's your name?"
I said, "Boss, I ain't got no license
Soddy's my name
But I'll sure drive the hell outta this thing"
He-he, so I got in, the offers paid
We was riding along, I said
"What kind of work y'all in?"
The dude in the back called Lefty just grinned
Then he looked at them other two dudes and he said
Ain't nobody ever told me nothing
That they didn't want me to know
All that anybody ever told me was where to go
Lord, ain't nobody so much as give me
The time of day
They never told me nothing
So I ain't got nothing to say
Now folks you see
Soddy's fixing to get in a heap of trouble
You see
Cause when we got to town
I told them thanks
They said, "Well, look
We got a business deal here at the bank
Why don't you sit out in the car and watch it for us?
And when we finish, we'll buy you a beer"
I said, "Fine"
So I was sitting there picking my teeth
And I seen that gas station over across the streetg
And I thought, well shoot
While they're in the bank
I'll just go get some gas for my truck
While I'm here
So I did
And I was on the self service island
Pumping some gas in a can
When this great big cop come up a screaming at everybody
Waving his hands
He said, "Everybody
Stay where you are
That black vehicle, is a stolen car"
"Is that yours boy?"
I said
"No's officer
I'm just putting gas in this can"
Nobody ever told me nothing
That they didn't want me to know
All that anybody ever told me was where to go
Lord, ain't nobody so much as give me
The time of day
They never told me nothing
So I ain't got nothing to say
He-he-he, yeah see
Soddy may be dumb like a box of rocks
But he know that police ain't gone buy
None of this
See, but before Soddy even had time to think
When the burglar alarm went off over at the bank
Well, here come them dudes running out
With their arms loaded full of money
Brandishing guns
Well, they looked for the car
And then they looked for me
Well, they didn't see neither one of us
Where we supposed to be
Well, son
You shoulda seen the look on they faces
When they didn't have nowhere to run
Why they was a screaming
They was a hollering
Jumping up and down
And the money was spilling
All over on the ground
About that time
Me and that officer
Walked over there on the scene
Well, the dude called Lefty
He pulled me over to the side and he said
"Where did you put the damn car, knucklehead"
I done looked at Lefty and I said
"Brother, what'd you mean?"
Ain't nobody ever told me nothing
That they didn't want me to know
All that anybody ever told me was where to go
Ain't nobody so much as give me
The time of day
They never told me nothing
So I ain't got nothing to say
They said, "Hey, Lefty
I know where you're going
When you leave here, brother"
"And I know where old Soddy's going too"
"And if I had my druther, brother
I'd rather be going with Soddy
Than going with you"
"How's that for being ignorant, hmm? Huh"
"I may be ignorant Lefty
But I ain't going to jail"
"Hey brother! You over there with the pickup truck
Yeah, you going out toward highway one?
I need a lift, I got this gas can
Yeah, it's heavy, I said, I can't carry
I need a ride, huh
Well, let me tell you
Where to stick your pickup truck, brother
And while you're at it
Why don't you accompany that
With that automatic gear shift"
"How you like that, hello?
Get off my foot, Lefty"
"Officer, will you give me a lift back to the highway?
Yeah, well, let me tell you
Where to stick that patrol car officer"