I walked down past the courthouse square
Three blocks or maybe four
Run into my old friend there
That runs a handy hardware store
I said, "Morning, Lonnie
What's the good word?"
He said, "Abraham Lincoln
Lone Ranger, Mickey Mouse
And I'm sold out of flag poles"
I popped the top off a soda pop
Laid a quarter on the bar
I said, "Inflation is a dirty dog
My payday sure ain't going far"
"Liberty," said Lonnie
"E Pluribus Unum
In God we trust
And I'm sold out of flag poles"
I said, "Hey, Lonnie, did you see
Evel Knievel jumping on TV?
Jumped thirteen buses with his machine
Reckon he could jump fourteen?"
"No doubt", said Lonnie
"Winners keep on winning
Even losers win sometimes
And I'm sold out of flag poles"
"Ain't this been a year", I said
"For frost and blight
And flood and drought
Twice as many tornadoes
Reckon it's all caused by fallout"
"Nah, it's the season", said Lonnie
"They change
Wind's gonna blow
Always did
And I'm sold out of flag poles"
"Hey, what do you think about the sheriff's daughter
Running off with the preacher's son?
The sheriff's wife had to hold him back
From going after them with his gun"
"Boys and girls", said Lonnie
"Will get together
Everything's normal
And I'm sold out of flag poles"
And I'm sold out of flag poles
Sold out of flag poles
Sold out of flag poles