I wanna tell you all a story
About the Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley's Junior High
Well, her daughter come home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
And she said, "Mom, I got a note here
From the Harper Valley PTA"
Well, the note said, "Mrs. Johnson
You're wearing your dresses way too high
And it's reported you've been drinking
And a running round with men and going wild
And we don't believe you oughta be
A bringing up your little girl this way"
Yeah, it was signed by the secretary
Harper Valley PTA
Well, it happened that the PTA
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mrs Johnson
Wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard
I can still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting
Of the Harper Valley PTA
Well, now there's Bobby Taylor sitting there
And seven times he asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use
A lotta ice whenever he's away
And Mister Baker, can you tell us
Why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep
Her window shades all pulled completely down?
Mister Harper couldn't be here
Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin
Well, when you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Payton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites"
No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did
It happened just this way
The day my mama socket it to
The Harper Valley PTA
Yeah, my mama socket it to
The Harper Valley PTA
My mama really socket it to
The Harper Valley PTA