They say to have her hair done Liz flies
All the way to France
And Jackie's seen in a discotheques
Doing a brand new dance
And the White House social season
Should be glittering and gay
But here in Topeka
The rain is a falling
The faucet is a dripping
And the kids are a bawling
One of them is toddling
And one is a crawling
And one's on the way
I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed
A million dollar pact
And Debbie's out in Vegas
Working up a brand new act
While the TV's showing Newlyweds
A real fun game to play
But here in Topeka
The screen door's a banging
The coffee's boiling over
And the wash needs a hanging
One wants a cookie
And one wants a changing
And one's on the way
Now what was I doing?
Jimmy get away from there
Darn there goes the phone
"Hello, honey
What's that you say?
You're bringing a few old Army buddies home?
You're calling from a bar?
Get away from there
No, not you, honey
I was talking to the baby
Wait a minute, honey, the door bell
Honey, could you stop at the market and
Hello
Hello
Well, I'll be"
The girls in New York City
They all march for women's lib
And Better Homes and Gardens shows
The modern way to live
And the pill may change the world tomorrow
But meanwhile today
Here in Topeka
The flies are a buzzing
The dog is a barking
And the floor needs a scrubbing
One needs a spanking
And one needs a hugging, Lord
One's on the way
Oh, gee
I hope it ain't twins again