Oh, help me
Please doctor
I'm damaged
There's a pain
Where there once
Was a heart
It's sleeping
It's a beating
Can't you please tear it out
And preserve it
Right there in that jar?
Oh, help me
Please mama
I'm sickening
It's today
That's the day
Of the plunge
Oh, the gal I'm to marry
Is a bow-legged sow
I've been soaking up
Drink like a sponge
"Don't you worry
Get dressed"
Cried my mother
As she plied me
With bourbon so sour
Pull your socks up
Put your suit on
Comb your long hair down
For you will be wed
In the hour
So help me
Please doctor
I'm damaged
There's a pain
Where there once
Was a heart
I'm sleeping
It's a beating
Can't you please
Take it out
And preserve it
Right there in that jar?
Yep
Oh, help me
Please doctor
I'm damaged
There's a pain
Where there once
Was a heart
It's sleeping
It's a beating
Can't you please
Tear it out
And preserve it
Right there in that jar?
I was trembling
As I put on my jacket
It had creases as sharp
As a knife
I put the ring in my pocket
But there was a note
And my heart it jumped
Into my mouth
It read, "Darling
I'm sorry
To hurt you
But I have no courage
To speak to your face
But I'm down in Virginia
With your cousin Lou
There'll be no wedding today"
So help me
Please doctor
I'm damaged
You can put back my heart
In its hole
Oh, mama
I'm crying
Tears of relief
And my pulse
Is now under control